Dancing alone is fun. When no one is watching, the plague of self-consciousness is tamed — you’re free to express yourself however you feel.

Pretending as though no one is watching is something different. It takes practice to ignore the watching eyes.

Writing is a lot like dancing (you can insert any form of artistic expression here). If nobody sees your work, it’s easy to let it all out. You’re not on guard against potential criticism.

A personal diary or journal is a great example of this. You’re creating into the void.

Blogging is a little different. People might see it. Part of you probably hopes people will see it. You’re sharing publicly but you also know that it likely won’t be seen by too many.

I’ve found myself in a bit of a conundrum in this regard. I’ve been writing here for a few years now, on and off. Since turning this into a daily practice, it’s been surprisingly easy.

I can see the traffic on my blog. It’s a personal website, there are visitors but nothing significant. Dumping my brain onto a quiet corner of the internet has been relatively easy. When there aren’t a lot of people watching, I don’t overthink what I’m saying.

However, I feel like I’ve opened a Pandora’s box of sorts.

After gaining a little confidence in my daily practice, I decided to share this on social media. Rather than dancing while pretending no one watched, I’ve now told people to watch. Traffic has increased — significantly. And while this is likely a temporary bump, I <em>know</em> that people are watching.

Pretending is suddenly a lot more difficult.

Even if traffic falls back to baseline, I’m curious if my self-consciousness will allow me to write as freely as I have over the last four months.

I’ve never been able to dance like no one’s watching.

Maybe this is my way of breaking through.