I’m nervous, excited, anxious and overwhelmed.

My head is still spinning with everything I’ve processed this last week. It’s the crescendo of a wild month that blindsided me.

A journey is coming to an end, one I’ve been on for over 20 years. In a sense, one I’ve been on my entire life.

Speed bumps, roadblocks and dead-ends discouraged me — often stopping me for years. Over time, new technology opened new doors. Some brought progress, others nothing.

Three years ago I hit what seemed, at the time, to be a wealth of information. Ultimately, it was only a few pieces of a large and empty puzzle.

Four weeks ago with some strange combination of desperation and hope, I took a random chance. A shot in near-darkness with a contact in New York.

Nothing.

Not at first.

But then I received a message. My contact in New York reached out to someone she knew in Scotland and put me in touch with her. And with the help of her and another lovely woman from England, I struck gold. Without them, I’d still be nowhere.

Information poured in faster than I could process. I’m still sifting through it all, piecing together everything they’ve given me.

With all the discouragement along the way, I didn’t think I’d ever be here. So without any real planning, anticipation, or expectations — good or bad — it’s time to turn the page.

Tomorrow I meet my birth mother for the first time.