It takes me a lot of time to open up to people.

The problem is that most introductions involve small talk — those nonsense chats about situational observations like the weather. This sort of talk makes me cringe. I want meaningful conversation.

It’s why it takes me so long to get to know people. Even if I’ve worked with someone for months we might never properly connect. Most of the time, when I get to know a new person, it’s because of a group conversation with people I already know. Other times it’s because something interesting enough happened that triggered a conversation that my brain felt like engaging with.

It’s hard to have a deep conversation with a total stranger — and while this is my default, it’s not the norm. Most people start with small talk.

Part of me wishes that I was better at this. Some of my favourite people are those that I’ve worked with for more than a year without ever having a conversation with. And now I connect with a lot of these people on a deep level and I feel like I’ve missed out on so much by uninentionally delaying these friendships.

But we’re all wired differently.

These last few days I’ve been thinking a lot about my friends. And I am shocked at how many of them could probably have become friends much sooner had I been better at small talk.

Then again, had those friendships started with nonsense chatter about the weather, would our relationships be what they are today?

Maybe waiting for conversation is the reason we eventually connected in the way that we have.

Maybe that early delay is why we’re so close today.