First impressions are awful. And the importance placed on them is weird.

We all do it. We base so much of our opinions of others on the first encounter. I suppose this is natural, some instinct built into us from our tribal ancestry. Making a good first impression is drilled into us from an early age.

But it’s ridiculous, the idea that you have one chance to make an impact on another person.

And I’m saying this as someone who both judges people based on the first encounter, and is awful at making good first impressions.

If I gave any serious weight to the idea, I would have missed out on incredible friendships. Some of my favourite people and closest friends did not impress on the first meeting. For some, it took several experiences to finally click. I couldn’t imagine my life if I had sworn them off because of an unimpressive first experience.

Myself, I’m socially awkward at the best of times. When I meet new people for the first time it gets inevitably worse. Thankfully, most people must feel the same about first impressions as I do. Because I still make friends, and get jobs.

We all have bad moments and bad days. You never know when someone may have had a negative encounter with someone, received unpleasant news, or is just feeling off. Putting such heavy pressure on first encounters only adds to what they’re already feeling.

If the next first impression you have of someone is amazing, that’s great! And if it happened to be little more than a clever act, you’ll learn that soon enough.

But if the first encounter is less than impressive, give them time. Unless they do something truly awful, consider basing your opinion on the second or third impression. Most people need a little time to open up and shine.